- "Time to nut up or shut up."
|Known relatives:||Buck |
Tallahassee is the nickname attributed to Woody Harrelson's character in the 2009 horror-comedy Zombieland. All of the characters featured in the film use nicknames in place of their real names to discourage emotional attachment should one of them fall prey to the zombie infestation that has gripped the entire country. Harrelson's character is named Tallahassee because he is driving towards Tallahassee, Florida when he meets his traveling companion "Columbus".
Biography[edit | edit source]
Tallahassee's real name is unknown. He lived somewhere in the Southwestern United States (likely Texas) with his young son, Buck. Tallahassee lost his son at a young age in the wake of a post-apocalyptic contagion that transformed the country into a veritable "Zombieland". With nothing else to live for, Tallahassee turned his attention towards the two things he desired most out of life -- killing zombies and eating Twinkies.
Arming himself with as many weapons he could get his hands on, he began driving towards his intended destination -- Tallahassee, Florida. Along the way, he came upon a scared, young man who was fortunate enough to have survived the zombie infestation. Learning that this man was trying to make it back to his family in Columbus, Ohio, Tallahassee nicknamed him "Columbus", and reluctantly accepted him as his new traveling companion.
Along their travels, they stopped at a supermarket where they attempted to stock up on supplies. Tallahassee fended off an approaching horde of zombies with a banjo and a pair of hedge clippers. He derived little satisfaction from his victory however as he soon discovered that there were no available Twinkies in the supermarket.
Soon after, Tallahassee and Columbus met a young woman and her twelve-year-old sister whom they nicknamed Wichita and Little Rock (respectively). Wichita and Little Rock were con artists who feigned a fake zombie injury in order to catch Tallahassee and Columbus off guard. When the opportunity presented itself, they stole Tallahassee's modified armored truck.
Tallahassee replaced his truck however by stealing a yellow Humvee filled with automatic weapons (he had to pry the rotting hands of a dead body off the steering wheel first though). Columbus and he continued on their journey and soon came upon Wichita and Little Rock again. The truck they had stolen from Tallahassee had broken down and they used their guile to commandeer the Humvee. This time however, Tallahassee and Columbus were allowed to accompany them, albeit at gunpoint. In time though, an uneasy truce was forged between the opposing sides and all four agreed to work together.
Turning around, they decided to head back west towards California. Wichita and Little Rock believed that the Pacific Playland amusement park was one of the last zombie-free zones in the country. En route, they stopped at a Native American store outlet to replenish supplies and let off steam. By the time they reached Hollywood, Tallahassee decided that they should hole up inside of an empty mansion. They selected the spacious home of actor Bill Murray as their new safe house. To Tallahassee's delight, the aging actor was still alive and had managed to stay clear of the zombie infection. Tallahassee was completely overwhelmed to be standing in the presence of one of his favorite Hollywood actors and the two entertained one another by acting out scenes from Murray's 1984 comedy Ghostbusters. Tallahassee and Murray conspired to play a prank on Columbus by having Murray pretend to be a zombie. Not realizing that he was being fooled, Columbus unfortunately shot Murray in the chest, killing him.
After discarding Murray's remains, Tallahassee began to reflect upon the life he had before the zombie plague. He revealed to the others how he had lost his son.
Eventually, Tallahassee and Columbus parted company with Wichita and Little Rock. Tallahassee made plans to resume his trek towards his original destination in Florida, while the girls journeyed onward to the Pacific Playland. However, Tallahassee recognized that Columbus had fallen in love with Wichita and decided to take him to the amusement park so they could be together.
The Pacific Playland did not turn out to be the zombie-free safe zone that Wichita and Little Rock had believed. In short order, the two girls were corralled by zombies and forced to seek refuge on one of the park rides. Tallahassee and Columbus arrived in the park and Tallahassee single-handedly gunned down an entire horde of zombies while Columbus rescued the girls.
After all the zombies had been killed, Tallahassee investigated a fast food booth, hoping to find a supply of Twinkies. Concerned that there might be a zombie hiding in wait, he shot through the door, inadvertently destroying most of the Twinkies. Little Rock found an intact Twinkie behind the door and gave it to him. Leaving Pacific Playland, Tallahassee killed one final zombie with the car door. He drove off to find a future with his new "family". 
Notes & Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The character of Tallahassee was created by director Ruben Fleischer and screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick.
- Catchphrase: "It's time to nut up or shut up".
- Preferred weapon of choice: Shotgun.
- Tallahassee's rule: "Enjoy the little things" (like eating Twinkies).
- Before finally revealing the truth to his new companions, Tallahassee indicates that Buck was the name of his puppy.
- Tallahassee had a strong liking of Twinkies.
- Had a fear of being killed with his own gun.
- Although living in California at the time, it is implied that Tallahassee originally came from Texas.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
- "It's time to nut up or shut up."
- "Do you want to see how hard I can punch?"
- "I haven't cried like that since Titanic!"
- "Enjoy the little things."
- "That'll do, pig."
- "I could use a Twinkie"
- " DONT'T KILL ME WITH MY OWN GUN!"