Munsters: My Fair Munster

"They don't make men like you anymore."

- Lily Munster

Act One
Marilyn brings another date home to meet her family. Her potential boyfriend is already nervous at the creepy sight of 1313 Mockingbird Lane, but he agrees to accompany her to the front door. When they reach the porch, Herman Munster answers the door and Marilyn's date runs away in terror. Marilyn wonders, "What is wrong with me anyway?".

Act Two
The rest of the Munster family go about their regular nightly business. Herman fusses over a broken pocket watch while Grandpa plays Checkers against a ghost in the living room. Lily admonishes Eddie for playing in the fireplace. Eddie complains that nobody ever yells at Marilyn the way they yell at him. Lily reminds him that Marilyn is not as "fortunate" as the rest of them.

After Lily sends Eddie off to bed, Marilyn comes down to kiss Herman and Lily goodnight. She then leaves the room, but she is clearly depressed about something. Lily is concerned that Marilyn may never find a boyfriend that will accept her for who she is. Herman just wants to marry Marilyn off as quickly as possible.

Grandpa decides to show some initiative and takes matters into his own hands. With a wave of his hand, he moves a throw rug across the floor, revealing the hidden access hatch to his laboratory. He goes downstairs and puts together a love potion which consists of nightingale, tears from a woman and a chip from a Frank Sinatra record. He throws it all together in a blender and makes what he believes will be the perfect elixir for romance. After drinking this, Grandpa theorizes, Marilyn will become completely irresistible.

Act Three
The following morning, A mailman named Mister Bloom stops at the Munsters' next door neighbor, Yolanda Cribbins. They both complain about how strange the Munsters' are and they each sympathize with the plight of the other. Bloom is fearful of having to deliver a package to them and wears a clove of garlic about his throat. Mrs. Cribbins has hired workmen to build an electric fence around her back yard to keep the Munsters' away.

At the Munsters' residence, Lily spoons out bowls of oatmeal for breakfast. Grandpa surreptitiously pours his love potion into Marilyn's bowl. Lily asks him to stay, but he prefers to take his meals in his laboratory. He spins about in a circle and disappears in a puff of smoke and flame.

Marilyn comes downstairs, but she is running late for school and doesn't have time for breakfast. Because of this, she doesn't consume Grandpa's love potion. Lily takes Marilyn's portion and mixes it with the rest, unaware of what Grandpa has done. Herman comes down for breakfast and the two eat the tainted oatmeal. Automatically, they each find the other to be completely irresistible.

Mister Bloom braves the threshold of the Munsters' estate and knocks on the front door. Lily answers and Bloom falls under the spell of the love potion. Swooning, he asks Lily if she believes in love at first sight. Lily's eyes grow wide with surprise. Bloom begins voraciously kissing her arm and hand.

In the back yard, Herman is watering the plants. He turns around and sees Mrs. Cribbins in her back yard behind her electric fence. He walks over and decides to act neighborly. Like with Mister Bloom, Yolanda Cribbins is likewise affected by the love potion that Herman has consumed. She begins flirting with him, insisting that he calls her by her pet name, "Yo-Yo".

Even Eddie Munster is not immune to his grandfather's machinations. Having eaten the spiked oatmeal as well, he has captured the eye of every one of his female classmates. They chase him home from school.

Once Herman and Lily are back inside, they tell each other about their respective experiences. They agree that neither of them should be surprised that their respective charm and "good looks" would drive other people wild. The two caress lovingly, then stare into a mirror, which promptly shatters.

Grandpa bursts into the room demanding an explanation as to why their home has suddenly become a "mad house". When Herman and Lily inquire as to what he is speaking of, he takes them out to the balcony and points to the ground. Down below, Mister Bloom is serenading Lily Munster. Lily decides to have a talk with him and reminds Herman that he should do likewise with Yolanda Cribbins. After they leave, Grandpa knocks a flower pot over, striking Mister Bloom in the head. Moments later, Mrs. Cribbins comes over to see Herman. Herman tries to talk to her, but she keeps flirting with him. Herman decides that it is best just to avoid her, so he turns and runs away. Cribbins chases after him through the house. While all of this is going on, Mister Bloom is chasing Lily around the house. The mismatched couple run across one another several times, and it is only through the use of hidden doorways and secret panels that Herman and Lily are able to evade their love-struck suitors.

Marilyn eventually comes home and sees Grandpa. He asks her how her date went and Marilyn is happy to tell him that she thinks she finally found a man who likes her. Grandpa takes all the credit himself and tells Marilyn how he put the love potion in her oatmeal. She reveals that she didn't eat the oatmeal, leaving Grandpa wondering who ended up eating the love potion. At which point, Herman and Lily both run past him fleeing from Mister Bloom and Mrs. Cribbins. The effects of the potion soon wear off and Bloom and Cribbins recoil at the sight of the Munsters. They each make as hasty an exit as possible. After they leave, Herman jokingly inquires, "Did we let them down easy?".

Act Four
Later that evening, the Munsters sit down for dinner. Now that Herman and Lily know about Grandpa's failed plot to help Marilyn, they want to make sure that he got rid of the rest of his love potion. Grandpa insists that it is gone and says that he threw it over the fence, into Mrs. Cribbins cabbage patch.

At Cribbins' house, Yolanda has invited Mister Bloom over for supper. He is grateful for a home-cooked meal and asks what she is making. She brings him near the stew pot and announces that they are having corn beef and cabbage. The wafting scent of the cabbage overwhelms them and Grandpa's love potion begins to affect them. The Munsters observe this from the window of their house and Herman comments, "Well, I guess it takes two to make a world go 'round".

Notes & Trivia

 * The title of this episode is a reference to the stage play My Fair Lady.


 * Originally, this episode was intended as the pilot, but went unaired. It was reshot and was aired as the second episode of the series.


 * This episode establishes that Marilyn is the daughter of Lily's sister.


 * The weather is apparently always windy and dark over the Munsters' home.


 * First time that Grandpa uses teleportation.

Bloopers

 * In the scene where Yolanda Cribbins is caressing Herman, she drops him onto the floor and Fred Gwynne's hair peace is clearly seen moving off his scalp.

Quotes
"Oh, Uncle Herman. What is the matter with me anyway?"

- Marilyn Munster

"Nobody on my side of the family ever looked like that."

- Herman Munster

"In the old country, whenever we needed a man, didn't I always manage to dig somebody up?"

- Grandpa Munster

"They don't make men like you anymore."

- Lily Munster