F.W.

The Grabbit Kwik clerk was a minor character featured in the HBO television series True Blood. He was played by actor Lorin McCraley and appeared in the series' pilot episode, "Strange Love".

Biography
As his job description attests, the Grabbit Kwik clerk was an employee of the Grabbit Kwik convenience store in Renard Parish, Louisiana. One evening in 2008, a young college fraternity student and his girlfriend stopped at the Grabbit Kwik when they noticed the sign outside advertising Tru Blood. They stopped inside and inquired with the clerk who decided to have some fun with them by pretending to be a vampire. Using an exagerrated accent, he eerily intoned, "You didn't know... that New Orleans is a mecca for the vampire?" The two youths looked at him in shock and discomfort, at which point the clerk burst into a peal of laughter and shouted "Score!", amused by his own performance. After they realized that he wasn't really a vampire, they asked him where they might be able to score some "V"; V being the shortened term for vampire blood which, if consumed by humans, acts as a narcotic. Unfortunately for them, a true vampire was in the premises and overheard their conversation. He warned them that they should leave to which the college boy responded "Fuck you". At this point, the good old boy beared his fangs and responded, "I'll fuck you, boy. First I'll fuck ya. And then I'll eat ya". This was enough to convince them both to leave. The vampire then turned his attention towards the clerk, paid for a four-pack of Tru Blood and said, "If you ever impersonate one of us again, I'll kill you." With that he told the man to have a nice night and left. (TB: Strange Love)